dimetrodone:

hollyblueagate:

things about my chickens

• i’ve only heard them bawk bawk like 4 times… 99% of the time they just make soft trilling noises and whistles, except for rosie, who only screams
• they are out to kill everything. this especially applies to rosie who is kind of like a very angry goose charges everything, including a dog, a hawk, and a repairman
  
• i gave rosie three grapes at once so she’d leave banjo and sadie alone and as i was giving banjo 1 (one) grape and rosie came back and attacked me and stole the grape
• she swallowed the grape whole and glared at me i think she was asserting dominence 
• banjo dug a hole to sit in and as soon as she was done rosie barreled into her and sat down in the dirt hole. it’s been 2 hours. she’s just laying there and being fat

Have you consitered that Rosie might be a velociraptor 

(Source: hollyblueagate-deleted)

vampireapologist:

vampireapologist:

vampireapologist:

new netflix show concept:

it’s like jackass, except it’s just me following the step-by-step instructions of different wikihows with unfailing dedication.

“Hi my name’s Molly Anne, and for the next six weeks I’m going to start acting like I’m a mermaid from the movie Aquamarine.”

An episode opens to me yelling in an aircraft that’s spiraling out of control.

“Haha, hey! It’s Molly Anne. Say, have you ever wondered how to

vestlizard100:

vestlizard100:

Coolest Lizard In The World Google Search

Oh FUCK Yeah

pterodactylparadox:

Listen,, it’s not that i “work well/better under pressure” it’s that i will not work at all unless i am under pressure